The Alzheimer’s Association has published a tip sheet called 10 Tips for Keeping Your Independence. It’s a really good and concise overview of how we can all actively participate in meeting the challenges of aging, and not just necessarily for those living with dementia. (In the on-line article, there are several links to Alzheimer Association products.)
Of the ten tips, the one I think is probably the most important and perhaps also the hardest is #4 – Plan for the Future. “At some point, it will become too difficult to live independently. Make plans now for your future so your family can honor your wishes.” This takes courage, communication and a lot of support, because it requires the recognition that things will change, and more help might be necessary.
For seniors who are aging, it means establishing “a line”, and then acknowledging when you’ve crossed it. A line might be:
- Several minor fender benders in the car, or unsafe driving patterns
- Fear of getting in and out of the tub or shower without assistance
- Weight loss or other signs of poor nutrition or health care
- Withdrawal from social activities
It’s sometimes a good idea to decide in advance that “crossing the line” is an automatic conversation starter. For the senior, it’s important that family members know what you want, and also have permission to start the conversation. “Son, let’s agree that if you ever notice unsafe driving or car damage, then we should have a conversation about my eyesight, reflexes or ability to drive. If there comes a time when I shouldn’t be driving myself, I’ll want to talk about other transportation, like taxis, or ride sharing.”
Make your own list of what you think are important lines, and take charge of sharing them with family members or caregivers. It will help you meet the fear of the unknown, and establish your wishes for the future.