Maine Seniors Still Read

I just got these from a friend. Seriously, for those of us who still read,wack definitions can be brilliant! These fit so well they should be in a dictionary:

ADULT: 
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle .

BEAUTY PARLOR: 
A place where women curl up and dye. 

CANNIBAL: 
Someone who is fed up with people. 

CHICKENS: 
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead. 

COMMITTEE: 
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours. 

DUST: 
Mud with the juice squeezed out. 

EGOTIST: 
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation. 

HANDKERCHIEF: 
Cold Storage. 

INFLATION: 
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper .

MOSQUITO: 
An insect that makes you like flies better. 

RAISIN: 
Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET: 
Something you tell to one person at a time. 

SKELETON: 
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE: 
The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW: 
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN: 
An honest opinion openly expressed. 

And MY Favorite!! 

WRINKLES: 
Something other people have, similar to my character lines.